Buddhist Thoughts is the SLC Buddhist Temple newsletter which is mailed to Temple members each month. Here we provide excerpts from archival Buddhist Thoughts.

2005 January

The Paradox  
by J.K. Hirano

But for a foolish being full of blind passions, in this fleeting world – this burning house – all matters without exception are lies and gibberish, totally without truth and sincerity.  The nembutsu alone is true and real.

– Postscript to Tannisho

This is the passage from the first article I wrote for our newsletter in October of 1993. In that article I reintroduced myself to the members of the temple and then I stated some of the things that I felt and hoped for my future with the temple. I would like to review a portion of that article called Entering Paradox from almost twelve years ago.

The reason I am here is because I have a deep concern for this temple.  This temple was the place where I was first allowed to hear the Nembutsu teachings.  My feelings for this temple may be different from those that live outside of Utah, for I believe that there is a deep need and future for Jodo Shinshu here.  However, for the future of Jodo Shinshu in Utah to remain bright, I believe it is necessary for us to have a strong temple.

It is now my responsibility to ensure that within this temple, the teachings of Jodo Shinshu are primary.The temple is not a social club for the entertainment and leisure of a selected few. The temple is not a Japanese American Community Center to continue on the past traditions of a long dead Japan of many of our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents. Although the traditions must be respected, it is time to learn what is necessary for us as Japanese Americans and American Jodo Shinshu Buddhists to move on in this world. If the Jodo Shinshu teachings are limited to Japan and having Japanese blood, I have wasted my life in trying to integrate them into my American lifestyle. There are those that believe the sole purpose in maintaining the temple is for their funerals. I am not here to just perform funerals. I am here to ensure the future of this temple. The spreading and continuation of Jodo Shinshu in Utah are of primary importance.

We are in a situation in Utah where we have a great many young people coming to the temple. Having grown up here, I realize that it is not easy to maintain or even to develop any strong self identity as a Buddhist. As a boy, I was often confronted with the question, "What is a Japanese American Buddhist doing here in Utah?" When I think of my situation while growing up, I often thought of Salt Lake City as a great paradox. Geographically, living next to a great desert, while at the same time at the base of a lush mountain range, on the shores of an inland sea, a salt water lake. A land of blazing summers and freezing winters, is to live in a physical world of natural paradox. Psychologically and spiritually, I was a third generation Japanese American, Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, surrounded by the descendants of Caucasian Mormon pioneers. Attending a small Buddhist temple, existing in the shadow of the World Headquarters for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. However, it was a result of the seeming paradox and within the world of delusion, that I was enabled to meet with Amida Buddha's Primal Vow. This in itself is a paradox.

It is the truth rising through paradox and delusion which is at the core of our Jodo Shinshu teaching.The passage with which I began this month's article seems to express this idea. "But for a foolish being full of blind passions, in this fleeting world - this burning house - all matters without exception are lies and gibberish, totally without truth and sincerity. The nembutsu alone is true and real." It is not living in Salt Lake City, Utah which creates this paradox. It is living as a human being, without regard to the consequences of our actions. That is the true paradox. In Buddhism, we are taught that someday we will die. We are taught that all things are impermanent. Yet we live as though there is always a tomorrow, thinking the World will remain as we want it to. Our loved ones die, yet we expect them and treat them as though they will live forever. We grow old, our bodies fall apart like a decaying cart, yet we deny it. This is the burning house. This is the true paradox. Yet, from within this Paradox, Amida Buddha's calling voice of "Namo Amida Butsu" comes forth. It is a gleam of hope in the ocean of birth and death. Amida Buddha's voice is calling to each and every one of us, "No matter where you are, anytime, any place, I am with you." This alone is true and real. It is something that we can depend upon. It is something we can provide countless individuals the opportunity of meeting with Amida's Vow, whether in Kyoto, Japan or Salt Lake City, Utah. The Truth is the truth.

I hope that each of you living in this paradox will join me in working toward building up this temple, as a place where we may hear the Truth. It can become a small oasis in this vast ocean of birth and death. I will do my best to help in this endeavor, but it cannot be done by myself alone.Thank you for your support and encouragement in this new assignment. I will do my best. The rest is up to you.Namo Amida Butsu.

Since writing those words almost twelve years ago, many things have changed in my life. I have been married and divorced. I have experienced the birth of two wonderful daughters. I have taken part in close to a hundred funerals and many weddings, where I have been allowed into the circle of many of our temple's families' personal lives. It has been a wonderful experience of good and difficult times. Our temple has also gone through a variety of changes with many more to come.

I have said that a temple is a place that it is not a country club and a place just for funerals. Yet, in some ways, it is a place where members of the Sangha and the larger community come for relaxation and to find a sense of community. We hold these activities and they seem contradictory to my statements and somewhat of a paradox. But I do not believe this is so, when the foundation for the temple is based upon the three treasures of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.

These three treasures are the heart of the temple and as a result, no temple can be defined by the minister alone.The true worth of a temple is found within its Sangha. I have tried to emphasize this often. However, I'm afraid I haven't done it enough. Our temple has a wonderful Sangha that has put up with me for twelve years. Over these twelve years, I have seen how true Shinran's words are in talking of the foolish being. I am indeed the foolish being, full of blind passions, ignorant of the burning house.I am attached to my children, my Sangha, my temple. It is where I live, it is a large part of my identity. Yet this is a part of the paradox I constantly struggle with. As the minister of a temple, in some ways I must try to remain aloof and impartial. Yet, I live here with my family and to be totally detached from them is very difficult, but it is a part of my job. Or the way I had defined it.

I realize more and more that in many ways, the minister is just the figurehead.Some have described the role of theminister, in part, to be thegarbage can for the temple, where the Sangha can vent, complain and throw things at. Amazingly, there has been very little of this at this temple.This may be one of the reasons I forget how to view myself. It is important that I am given objective criticism, otherwise I become overwhelmed in this burning house and unable to see the limits. However, within the past month or so, I have luckily began to hear some rumblings.And it has reminded me that it is time to reassess my position at the temple.

Beginning with the president of our temple, Paul Terashima, we are lucky to have someone who is willing to give so much of his time and effort. He is a second generation president of this temple and is evidence of how much effect a parent's dedication can have on their children. He is working for the benefit of our temple as if it were a full time job.We are lucky he is retired and Kathy has been willing to loan him to us for so many years.

Through our Dharma School, we can see how the dedication of the parents have created an environment where our children enjoy coming to the temple. I am very proud of our Dharma School. Whenever I go to the national meetings, I hear about other temples' difficulties in recruiting Dharma school students.These are from areas where the demographics of Buddhists and Japanese Americans are sometimes ten times that of what we have in Utah. There isn't a temple of our size that is like our Dharma School. We can take pride in the efforts of the parents that bring their children week after week.

Within the affiliated organizations, I am amazed at the efforts put forth by the Sangha. Although our Fujinkai isn't huge, they continue to work in a variety of ways to support the temple as a whole. This is by a group of ladies who may or may not have children and grandchildren active at the temple. Yet for the benefit of the youth of our temple they dedicate hours of their time monthly. Our YBA, Jr. YBA have students that come on a weekly basis. Not because of a basketball program that is at the core of many other temples, but to enjoy the companionship of other young Buddhists.They work towards making the temple a better place for all.An example of this is the painting of the temple by Sean Sekino.; As his Eagle Scout project he painted the interior of the temple. Just walking through the front door of the temple, you can feel the dedication of these young people by the bright new paint. This was accomplished through many hours of labor provided by his fellow YBA members and scout friends, some of whom were not even members of the temple.This is how the young members begin to feel that this is their temple. Of course, this could not be accomplished without the help and dedication of the parents and advisors.

We have a number of other groups that consistently make our temple a better place, such as the building committee, the Dharma School building fund group, the Dobo Gakko and even the basketball players that use the gym. They set up the tables for our various events and barbecue the chicken for our Obon and Bazaar. The temple is a place where so many people come to contribute to the welfare of others.

This is a burning house as Shinran said, but we each live in it and must make the best of it that we can. I feel that the temple is a valuable place in each of our lives. The temple is a place where the three treasures shine and for the most part, the Sangha is the key. As the minister of the Salt Lake Buddhist Temple, and supervising minister of the Ogden and Honeyville Buddhist temples, I have been blessed with a livelihood that is difficult to describe. The joy I receive is something I cannot imagine very many others can match in their professions. However, in looking back, I now realize that during that period when I first returned to Salt Lake, I knew that within ten or twelve years, I would need to reassess what I was doing here. These rumblings have made me aware of some problems that must be addressed and taken care of.

In the twelve years, I have only heard personally from two members with complaints about my job performance. These are very dedicated members and I appreciate them letting me know of their feelings. Yet if two dedicated members of the Sangha have complained to me, I must assume that there are others. That have equally legitimate complaints but are hesitant to act upon their personal feelings. Having served on the BCA minister's affairs committee, I have heard the complaints about many ministers. When I have heard them, I often wonder why the minister doesn't address the problems and if they cannot do anything about it, why they stay at a temple where they are not wanted.

In this regard, I realize that twelve years is a long time to be at one temple. Through familiarity, problems can develop. If they are not addressed, they only fester until the temple is often split. And the wonderful environment of the Sangha becomes like a family going through divorce. There are some temples where this has happened. It can literally destroy the Sangha and consequently the temple itself, for an entire generation. I would hate to be the cause of the destruction of our Sangha and temple. This month we will be having our annual general meeting. I hope that the problems that some may find with my serving as the minister of this temple can be addressed.

I know that many of the members realize that my position is precarious because of my family being from Salt Lake and my children being young. However, in the case of what is better for the temple, I would never want to be considered a detriment to the Sangha. This is my paradox. Can you imagine how difficult it would be for my family and children if they were to hear and find out that I am the problem for our temple? As a result I hope that the true feelings of the Sangha can come to the surface and prevail. I appreciate the support I have received from so many of the members over the years. However, I hope that those that have complaints will come to me personally or if that is difficult to approach our temple president to let me know, when a problem arises.

There is a scroll that I saw at my friend Dennis Yoshikawa's temple many years ago. It said "Shoshin wasururu." This literally translates as, "Do not forget the Beginner's mind." In seventeen years as a Kaikyoshi, it is very possible to forget the beginner's mind and the aspirations of a new minister. There was a book put out by one of our senior BCA ministers called, "When Anything Seemed Possible." It is a very nice book about his remembering his early years as a BCA minister. However, I was saddened by the title, it seemed to imply that over the years, one loses this feeling of possibility and potential that one had in one's youth. I would like to hope that anything is still possible at our temple and with our Sangha. If I am to be a part of it, I will be very happy to add my small contributions, but if not, that is how it must be. I hope that you will each continue to help our temple and I will try to do my best to not forget the beginner's mind. Until the causes and conditions in our lives and path, force us to part, thank you for your understanding over these past twelve years and Namo Amida Butsu.

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