Buddhist Thoughts is the SLC Buddhist Temple newsletter which is mailed to Temple members each month. Here we provide excerpts from archival Buddhist Thoughts.

2004 February

Rodney's Heart
by J.K. Hirano

Heretical views caused by ignorance flourish, they grow into forests of bramble that entangle defiled hearts. This causes individuals to be suspicious and slanderous of those with faith in nembutsu, hence violent attacks by people poisoned with anger abound.”

-- Commentary on wasan 9 from Shozomatsu wasan

I have been looking back at some of the articles I have written for this newsletter. One of my favorites and one that I remember quite well I wrote 10 years ago. It concerned a man that I was lucky enough to meet here at the temple. I would like to share this story with you once again.

As February comes upon me, I realize that I am beginning my sixth month as the resident minister of this temple. There are many things that I still need to accomplish, to feel that I am settled here in Salt Lake. However, I have learned many things in coming back to the town of my birth and the temple in which I was first allowed to hear the Nembutsu teachings.

It is quite different being the minister of the temple, from being one of the children who came to the temple. They say that when you return to the place of your birth, things seem smaller. For when you are a child, all the adults seem so big and important. As you get older and join the ranks of adulthood, some of the aura of the big people is lost. Yet when you are allowed to step away from your home town, you are also allowed to appreciate many of the things you may have taken for granted.

As I once again become accustomed to life in Salt Lake City, there are days when I am in awe of the beauty of this little valley. Not only of the natural wonders we are surrounded by, but of the people, family, friends and neighbors, Buddhist and non-Buddhist. I have lived away from Salt Lake City for almost 13 years, so I am experiencing many things, as though it were the first time. The simple pleasures of having dinner with members of my family. To the kindness of many new people and friends. We should take pride in Salt Lake City and the kindness that is a part of the environment and culture here.

For example, one Sunday, I looked out the window to see that quite a bit of snow had fallen overnight. I hurried to get to the temple so I could clear the sidewalk and steps in front and to the side of the temple, before Dharma School. I had forgotten how much work clearing snow can be and I understand this is a very light winter. After the Dharma School service was over, I had to get to Honeyville to speak for the Hoonko service. Before I left for Honeyville, I wanted to get home to clear my own driveway and sidewalk, before the snow I had packed down leaving my home, had turned to ice.

As I approached my home, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The sidewalk in front of my house and my driveway were completely cleared of snow. As I went up the driveway, there was my neighbor, shoveling the last piles of snow. As I got out of my car, he said, “What’re you doing home so early? You weren’t supposed to catch me doing this.” I said, "Doug, thank you so much, but you didn’t have to do all this.” He smiled and said, “I know that you had to leave early to take care of your temple and congregation, so I didn’t think you’d have time to do it here.  I thought it might help. One less thing to worry about. Here was a man I didn’t know three months ago, clearing my driveway, so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it. He is a member of the Mormon church a couple of blocks away. Yet, he was willing to take time out to help me, because I had to take care of my Temple. There are many things that we often forget about and take for granted. This small act of kindness by my neighbor truly warmed my heart and made me appreciate coming back to Utah.

The many acts of kindness that have been shown me since my return, make me look inot my own heart, for the motives of my own actions. February is a time for our Nehan-E or Nirvana day service and Pet memorial service. It is also a time for Valentine’s day. It is hard not to forget Valentine’s day with all the hearts and decorations in any of the stores you walk into. Although Valentine’s Day isn’t a Buddhist holiday. I think that if we look at all the hearts surrounding us as reminders of the need for each of us to look inot our own hearts, Valentine’s Day will be a significant holiday for we Jodo Shinshu Buddhists.

I would like to relate another experience I had since coming back to this temple. One very cold and snowy morning, as I rang the daikin to begin the morning service. I heard a slight rattling in fron of the door that leads into the Hondo. I began chanting and heard the front door of the temple open and someone walk in. As I chanted, I watched the door of the hondo to see who might have come in. Slowly, a man bundled in layers of coats and clothes, with an old knit cap over his long hair, carrying a large duffel bag, looked into the hondo. It was hard to see his face, for he had a long tangled beard.

As I continued chanting, I watched him shed gloves, cap, bag and top coat. He kind of shook himself off and walked into the hondo and towards the altar. He bowed to me and then quietly sat in the front pew. While I chanted, I occasionally glanced at this stranger. The snow dripped from his beard and boots, making a small dirty puddle of water at his feet. As I wondered what this rather bedraggled man was doing in the hondo, I heard a thumping sound. I looked up and he was hitting the side of his head with an open hand. Water scattered from his head with each strike. It was as if he was trying to clear his head of some unknown pain. I ended the service by reading the Gobunsho. I then walked from the naijin and introduced myself, “My name is Jerry Hirano, is there something I can do for you?” He stood up, bowed and said, “I heard the bell and thought I should come in for Sesshin.” Sesshin literally means collecting the heart-mind.  It is a time for especially intensive and strict practice of collected meditation and discussion carried out in Zen monasteries at regular intervals.

I walked towards him and put out my hand saying, “This is a Jodo Shinshu Temple and we don’t follow Zen practice, but you’re welcome to the services we do have. Have you been studying Zen very long?” As he took my hand, he said, “My name’s Rodney. That’s okay, I haven’t formally studied Buddhism.” I was surprised by how his hand felt as I shook it. The way he was dressed and his raggedy clothes, I expected a cold calloused hand. However, although dirty, his hand was very warm and soft. He continued talking, “I travel around a lot and thought I should come in to talk with and join you, when I heard the bell.

“Well, Rodney, that’s basically all I do in the morning,” I told him. He looked cold and as though he hadn’t eaten for a while, so I offered him some tea. “I don’t have any coffee or anything to eat. But would you like to join me for some tea? We can talk in the kitchen, while the water is boiling.” He paused for a moment, stood there kind of looking at the ground and said, “Sure, I’d like that.” As I walked back to the naijin to put out the candles and lights, I saw him look into the osaisen bowl we have near the incense burners. I thought he might take the few dollars that were there. I knew there were only a couple of dollars in there, so I thought, “If he takes the couple of dollars, I won’t say anything. He probably needs it more than this temple does.” Instead of taking the money, he fumbled through the layers of clothes he was wearing and pulled out a beat up wallet and pulled out a crumpled dollar bill. It looked as though it was his only dollar. He then bowed and placed gently in the bowl. I turned out the lights in the naijin and we walked to the kitchen. I put water in the kettle and looked through the cabinets for some tea. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Rodney movng around, as though he were practicing some kung fu moves he must have seen in a movie or television show. As he looked upwards, he kind of froze and stood there posed, staring up into space.

I broke the silence by saying, “Well, Rodney, where are you from? Do you live around here?” I think I startled him out of his thoughts for he jerked back into standing there with his arms hanging at his sides.

He thought for a minute and said, “Well, I love all over the place. I like to move around.” “Where were you born?”

“I was born in Los Angeleez and been moving ‘round for ‘bout seven years.” As he spoke, I looked closely at his face. Beneath the beard and the grime, I could tell that he must be younger than myself. If he had been moving around for at least seven years, he must have left home as a teenager or in his early twenties.

“I’ve lived all over, Florida, Looziana, Texas, let’s see, Wyoming, Arizona and I’ve been in Denver for the past six months.” “Isn’t it cold here in Utah?”

“I don’t mind, I like to travel around.” “Where did you hear about sesshin, if you haven’t studied Zen?”

“I don’t have any religion. When I travel ‘round, I stop here and there and listen. Heard folks talkin’ bout Zen and say sesshin. I try to go to the Christian churches too.” He look at me as if to apologize. “It’s all right. We all have to find our own paths. Whether you’re Buddhist or Christian doesn’t matter to me. All of us have to find out what it means to be human.” “I agree, I’m still looking for my path.”

“Me too," I said to him. He kind of smiled at me and said, “The last church I was in was a Catholic Church in Denver. It was nice there, but I like to move around.” He seemed to be remembering some happy moments in his past as he said this. I then offered him some tea, which he accepted and drank. He then asked me, “What do you think it means to be human?” I began to explain to him the ideas of Bonno and how we are all filled with these passions, characterized by greed, anger and ignorance. Rodney attentively listened to what I was saying. As I explained why I have my onenju on. He said, “That’s kinda like a rosary isn’t it?” That’s right.” I responded.

He then said he had something he felt that he could now show me and he pulled out a little pouch from his pocket. In the pouch were three dirty crystals. I asked him, “Did you find those in your traveling around?”

“No, I bought them in Wyomin’, they’re realy powerful, so I have to be careful ‘bout who I show them to.” He then began moving them around the table, picking up a rather triangular shaped one. “This one here’s extra powerful, you can touch um, but ya gotta be careful. I don’t want anything to happening to ya.”

“I’ll be careful,” I said, as I picked up the crystals. They seemed like plain quartz crystals, with pieces of dirt stained to some of the surfaces. “I’d like to give them to ya, but like I said, they’re kinda powerful and I don’t know what would happen.”

“That’s okay Rodney, you keep them. They’re your treasures. But there is something, I’d like to give you.” I then took off the Onenju I was holding and gave it to him.

“Just a moment,” he said. He then took his cup of tea and drank all of it, tapping on the bottom to get the tea leaves. Wiping his hands on his pants, he accepted the onenju from me. “Thanks, how do I hold em.”

“I hold them in my left hand, to remind me of my humanity. There are times when I forget about what I’m here for and they help remind me.” He then carefully placed the onenju around his left hand, “Thanks a lot. There’s something I’d like to leave with you too. I have it in my bag.” We then left the kitchen and walked back to the bag he had left in the hall. He carefully pulled out a rolled up cloth. Inside the cloth he had a rosary and a strand of what looked like boot laces, wrapped with colored wire and pull tops from cans. On one end was wire wrapped together into a kind of hook. On the other end, was wire fashioned in the shape of a cross. “When I was in Denver, I saw this Irish rosary and I tried to copy it. Ya put this hook 'round your thumb when ya hold it.” He carefully showed me how to hold his hand crafted rosary. He then placed it on my hand to show me how to hold it.

“Thank you Rodney, but I think you should keep it for yourself. It obviously means a lot to you.”

“No, I want ya to have it.”

“Thank you, I’ll take good care of it.”

“Well, I gotta be going.”

“Will you be all right? Do you have a place to stay?”

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

As he picked up his bag and put on his layers of clothes and gloves, he carefully placed the onenju on his left hand. We shook hands and as he walked towards the door, he dropped a little red cloth heart shaped coin purse. “Rodney, you dropped your heart.” I said handing it to him.

“Nah, you keep it, okay? That things be given me nothin’ but grief.” He then walked out the door. I watched as he adjusted his clothes and walked off down the street.

I keep the rosary and the heart that Rodney left with me that day. I learned a lot from Rodney from our short time together. Maybe rather than me answering any questions or helping him find a path of some sorts. It was Rodney that left me with much more than I could have given him.

As I write this month’s article, thinking about Valentine’s day hearts and my own I look at the heart Rodney left with me. As I read the two passages I began the article with, I think of the hearts of us all. “Living the truth in your heart without compromise brings kindness into the world. Attempts at kindness that compromise your heart cause only sadness.”

Although the first passage was written by an anonymous 18th century monk, I realize that the only way to live the truth in my heart without compromise, is to trust in Amida Buddha. For with the realization that Amida Buddha takes care of me, just as I am, my ordinary heart can be transformed to the heart of true kindness and compassion. However, compromise to my heat, comes with my own calculation. I’m sure Rodney and all of us, have been filled with grief and sadness, because of our defiled hearts. It is only though the understanding of True compassion, Amida Buddha’s compassion, that we can bring kindness into the world.

As a result of our own defiled hearts we think, “I’m right, others are wrong. I know better than everyone else.” When things don’t go our way, we attack those that don’t agree with us. It is our defiled, self centered minds, that bring grief into the world. I think Rodney may understand this better than many of us. As I have come to this temple, I have met many interesting people. Rodney had nothing materially, yet he was willing to give what little he had. He understood that it was his heart, that brings him grief. I hope that Rodney can be without grief, for even a short time, by leaving his heart at the temple.

“Heretical views caused by ignorance flourish; they grow into forests of bramble that entangle defiled hearts.This causes individuals to be suspicious and slanderous of those with faith in nembutsu; hence violent attacks by people poisoned with anger abound.”

I have also learned that you cannot always trust those that come to you with clean smiling faces. For it is often hard to see the human heart and ignorance, behind the mask of affluence and smiling faces. Within the past few months, I have seen and am aware that there are members of this temple, that think they offer so much to the temple. The temple is their country club, to be run the way they see fit. Rodney and his ways are much more pure and clean. These individuals can learn a lot from Rodney. Physically they may be clean and seemingly wealthy, but it is the inside that is poor and defiled, with greed, anger and ignorance. I hope that on this Valentine’s day, you will look towards your own heart and see yourself for what you truly are. Maybe you may learn from Rodney, to go beyond your selfishness, anger and ignorance, to leave your defiled heart with Amida Buddha. It may transform you into a true follower of the nembutsu. Rather than a member of a small Japanese American Country Club. Rodney’s heart is now with Amida Buddha, where is yours?

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