Buddhist Thoughts is the SLC Buddhist Temple newsletter which is mailed to Temple members each month. Here we provide excerpts from archival Buddhist Thoughts.

2003 October

Return to Innocence
by J.K. Hirano

Each of us, in outward bearing,

Makes a show of being wise, good and dedicated;

But so great are our greed, anger, perversity, and deceit,

That we are filled with all forms of malice and cunning.

With minds full of malice and cunning, like snakes or scorpions,

We cannot accomplish good acts through self-power;

And unless we entrust ourselves to Amida's directing of virtue,

We will end without knowing shame or self-reproach.

-- Hymns of the Dharma Age, CWS

With autumn quickly upon us, we can really see the passing of time. The trees are beautiful as they slowly shed their leaves and change to hues of red and gold. Throughout the hot summer months, many of us longed for the fall sunshine and cooling temperatures. It is definitely my favorite time of year. The foliage is truly beautiful and many people drive through the mountains just to see this wonder of nature. Why is it that we human beings often try to hide our own changing nature?

For many of us parents, the beginning of school and fall activities is a very busy time. Taylor began soccer this year and loves her pink and purple uniform. The day of her first soccer game, she wore her new uniform to school. She was so proud and proclaimed to her teacher as she entered the classroom, "I play soccer and have a soccer game today." Her face was beaming with pride as her friends admired her pink jersey with purple flames.

Watching the four year olds play soccer is a lesson for me in human interaction. Each child has a desire to kick the ball and they struggle back and forth up and down the field, huddled together in a bunch. They are serious in their intent, but as one little girl kicks the ball into the goal. She is applauded by the parents of both teams and the girls of both teams laugh and clap and begin the play again. Everyone leaves the game having enjoyed our time together in play.

Kacie is almost eight years old and has played soccer since she was four. Two years ago, I sensed a change in her demeanor. She began soccer just as Taylor did, laughing and enjoying just playing the game. At the time of this change, the teams still didn't keep an official score. However, at the half time of this particular game, Kacie came up to me and said, "Daddy that other team has scored three times and we haven't scored at all." I tried to tell her that the purpose of the game wasn't to keep score, it was to just enjoy kicking the ball and play with each other. She was looking down, trying to digest what I was telling her and then looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Daddy, I'm going to score." I said, "Just do your best Kacie and have fun, the score doesn't matter."

At the beginning of the half, Kacie was chosen to kick the ball to begin the game. I could see this determination in her face, her smile was gone. She kicked the ball very hard and followed it and kicked it again. I could see that her face was extremely serious and turning pink. She ran as fast as she could kicking the ball all the way down the field and into the goal. She raised her arms in the air, turning towards me, beaming with pride. As I applauded her goal, I didn't know whether to praise her determination or feel sadness at that moment, for her loss of innocence and smile in just playing the game.

As we human beings age, we change. As one of the basic laws of life, all things are constantly changing. Just as Taylor wants to show the world her new uniform. I want to show the world the good side of myself. It is a mask that I often wear, whether it be father, son, friend, minister, etc. Although I love the changing leaves, I worry about the grey hairs that are slowly covering my head. I realize that it has taken me forty six years to grow this body, yet I'm discouraged as my efforts to take some of that age away is left unfulfilled. Now matter how I may tighten my belt, that slab of excess flesh, cannot be concealed. As Shinran has stated in the poem I began with, each of us wants to show the world, their good side, but underneath are all sorts of unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

When is it that we human beings learn or begin to think that MY winning is the most important. When do we stop cheering for the other team and begin to criticize others for the way they play the game. Is it possible for us to return to playing the game, just to play and enjoy each others' success, as much as our own? In many ways, the temple and sangha, is a microcosm of the world at large. If we can work with one another, without the criticism, and praise others for their success, there is hope for the society at large.

At the temple, everyone that comes here, has the same goal. To try to make our temple a special place. Where the light of Amida's wisdom and compassion, illuminate our human frailties. Each of us without exception, have greed, anger and ignorance, somewhat hidden from others. Yet, let's allow this light of Amida to show us, how foolish we can be and learn from it. I don't know if any of us adults, can truly return to the innocence of four year olds, playing soccer. However, I believe that we can and should realize that each of us are trying our best, to make our temple a place of wonder, for ourselves, our children and friends.

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.

Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder

I love this quote and I would love our temple to have this same understanding. Let us try to work with one another and enjoy our Sangha. Together, without criticism, let us rediscover the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. Namo Amida Butsu.

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