Buddhist Thoughts is the SLC Buddhist Temple newsletter which is mailed to Temple members each month. Here we provide excerpts from archival Buddhist Thoughts.

2002 September

Where is Sammy?
by J.K. Hirano

One day a troubled monk approached the master Joshu, intending to ask the Master for guidance. A dog walked by. The monk asked Joshu, "Has that dog a Buddha-nature or not?" The monk had barely completed his question when Joshu shouted: "MU!"

-- Zen Koans, Gyomay Kubose

(MU: is the Chinese word for emptiness, sunyatta, the realm of enlightenment)

This Summer has been a very interesting few months. Many things have crossed my life's path to awaken me to true and real life. Through these difficulties, I have been allowed to learn about a number of life's important lessons. The issue I would like to address for this month's article is death. Death can come in many forms, the death of a loved one, our own physical demise, even the ending of a relationship. Any of these experiences can teach us about the fragile nature of life. Regardless of the way in which you may experience death, if you allow yourself the opportunity, it can change and enrich your life.

This Summer it was necessary to take our family dog Sammy to the vet and put him to sleep. Sammy was 17 or 18 years old. We were never sure, since Cheryl had adopted Sammy from the animal shelter. Sammy had been abused by his previous owners and began his life with Cheryl barely able to walk, for fear of being beaten. At that time, the veterinarian had told Cheryl that Sammy was probably 2 or 3 years old. It was difficult to tell because of the abuse he had suffered. However, through Cheryl's care and loving kindness, Sammy eventually began to walk and play again. Just as a human being can rise above the difficulties early in life, so can a dog.

However, as with a human being, Sammy carried some of those psychic scars throughout his life. He had a voracious appetite up until the day he died. This was from his puppyhood of scavenging for scraps of food to eat. He would also every so often, get frustrated and chew up quilts, pillows and sofas. I imagined these were some type of flashbacks to his past. He must have had a terrible experience with quilts. For he had ripped and chewed up at least 4 or 5 of ours. Even with these little flaws, he was loved by all of our family.

One day I found him in a daze, lying on the floor with his eyes open, breathing very hard, yet not responding to me. He had defecated on the floor and saliva was dripping from the side of his mouth. After about 10 minutes he seemed to come out of this seizure, but had a difficult time standing. I had a feeling that Sammy had experienced a stroke. Over the previous few months, Sammy had also developed a very bad cough. He would hack and cough, like a very old person, fighting for breath. As a result of Sammy's seizure and coughing, Cheryl took him to our veterinarian. He told Cheryl that Sammy had congestive heart disease. It was possible that Sammy could live for a few months. However, he might only last a week or days. There was also the possibility that he would also hurt himself in a seizure. The vet and Cheryl decided that Sammy should be put to sleep. The vet suggested that Cheryl bring Sammy home to visit with the family one last time.

Cheryl brought Sammy home and went to get the girls. As they drove into the garage, I heard Taylor screaming and crying in the car. I ran to the garage wondering what was wrong. When I opened the door, Taylor looked at me and cried out, "Sammy's going away to La La Land. I didn't know what she was talking about. Kacie sitting next to her, also crying, explained to me that Cheryl had told them that Sammy had to go away to La La Land.

We brought the girls into the house and I took Taylor in my lap and tried to comfort her. Kacie went to see Sammy and brought him into the room. As they petted Sammy, I tried to explain that Sammy was very old and because we loved him, we had the responsibility to do what was best for Sammy, even if it hurt us. Kacie asked, "But why does he have to go to La La Land?" I really didn't know what to say, since I had never heard of La La Land. I then explained that when it comes time for a human being to die, I believe that they go to the Pure Land. I had talked with Kacie before about my Mother having died before she was born. Although she had never met my Mom, I told her that she was always with me and loved her and Taylor just as much as I loved them. Even though she couldn't see their grandma, every time we put our hands together and said Namo Amida Butsu, my mother was with us, in our hearts. I explained that there was nothing to worry about for Sammy, since he would be together with my Mom, in the Pure Land.

This seemed to settle their minds to a small degree. After they were asleep, I asked Cheryl if it were okay for Kacie to go with her to the vet when she took Sammy. I felt that Kacie was old enough to witness Sammy's physical end, his death. Although Cheryl wanted to take Sammy herself, she agreed that Kacie could go with her. The next morning I told the girls to play with Sammy and remember him.Later Cheryl and Kacie took Sammy to the vet.

That evening, when I saw Kacie, I asked her if she were okay. She explained the way the vet had gave Sammy a shot and how the vet, mommy and her had cried as Sammy stopped breathing. And then she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Daddy, Sammy didn't go to sleep. Sammy died." It froze my heart when she said this. At first I didn't know what to say. Many thoughts raced through my mind, "Was it wrong for me to talk about the Pure Land? Was Kacie too young to have witnessed Sammy's death?" All I could do was hold her and say, "Yes Kacie, Sammy died." After a few minutes I was able to regain some composure and explain to her that death is something that happens to every living thing. It was a conversation we had before, but this time Kacie had truly been touched by the death of a loved one. I asked her to come with me to the Obutsudan and say Namo Amida Butsu and remember Sammy. This seemed to make her feel better. She asked if we could have a real service for Sammy when we received his ashes. I put my arm around her and agreed.

That evening, after Cheryl and the girls were asleep, I scanned and made some pictures of Sammy. One of these I framed and placed near the Obutsudan, along with the pictures of my mom and grandparents. When the girls awoke, we went to the obutsudan and I once again explained why the pictures were by the Obutsudan. Taylor was delighted that she could see Sammy again. I asked both of them to close their eyes and if they could see Sammy. Taylor nodded her head, Kacie said, "Yes and he's playing with Uncle Jim. Uncle Jim was Cheryl's uncle who had died last year. I felt somewhat relieved that Kacie could understand at least that much. Maybe I hadn't damaged her young psyche by having her witnessing Sammy's death.

In the evening when I went to the Obutsudan, Sammy's picture was no longer along side the other photos. It had been placed inside the Obutsudan, next to the myogo (scroll with Namo Amida Butsu written on it). I took the picture out and once again placed it with the other pictures. The next morning when I went to the Obutsudan, the picture was inside the Obutsudan again. I saw Kacie and asked her if she had put the picture there. She smiled and said, "Yes, I put Sammy inside, just to make sure he was with Buddha and not lonely." I told her that would be fine for now, "But once he gets adjusted, can we put his picture back with the others?" She smiled and agreed.

We will be beginning our Dharma School services on September 8th at 10:00 am.  How do you explain these important questions to your children?  How do you experience them for yourself?  Our Nembutsu teachings, provide each of us with a means to explain or to better understand these important life questions.  These are subjects that are rarely brought up in school or work.  The temple is a wonderful place to experience true and real life.  Please join us.  The Sangha is a wonderful place to join with others as we travel life=s path.  Namo Amida Butsu .

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