Buddhist Thoughts is the SLC Buddhist Temple newsletter which is mailed to Temple members each month. Here we provide excerpts from archival Buddhist Thoughts.

2000 May

A Look at the Invisible World
by J.K. Hirano

There is no difference at all between Nirvana and Samsara;
There is no difference at all between Samsara and Nirvana.
What makes the limit of Nirvana is also then the limit of Samsara;
Between the two we cannot find the slightest shade of difference.

Madhyamikarika

This world we live in is called Samsara, the ocean of birth and death. Samsara is usually mentioned in comparison to the realm of Nirvana, enlightenment. However, the world of enlightenment also encompasses this world of Samsara. The two is actually one. If the Pure Land were another realm, disconnected and far away, how could we be touched by the wondrous compassion that flows forth from it? The two worlds are inseparable. It is just that we have a hard time seeing them as so. This is the invisible world I am referring to.

A week ago, Cheryl and her mother, went to San Jose, California. Cheryl's sister Naomi had adopted a baby girl from Korea and Cheryl and her mother wanted to be at the airport to greet the new member of our family. I encouraged Cheryl to go on this trip and told her that I could watch the girls. However, in all honesty, I dreaded the occasion. The three nights Cheryl was to be gone I would be solely responsible for watching Taylor and Kacie. There were a few nights when I didn't sleep well, just thinking about this trip.

About once or twice a month, I must leave Cheryl and the girls for one reason or the other. Cheryl rarely complains, in fact, there are times when I sense a feeling of relief, when I leave rather than return. During my outings, I usually feel sorry for myself, rather then Cheryl. While separated from my family, there is a constant longing to be with them. I am the focus of my own self pity, not Cheryl, not the girls. However, suddenly the tables are turned and Cheryl is leaving the girls and me. As a result, my viewpoint has suddenly changed and broadened.

The nights that Cheryl is gone, I have a difficult time sleeping. I constantly listen for Kacie or Taylor crying out in the night. When Taylor doesn't cry, I worry that something might be wrong, so I look in her room to listen to her breathing. Cheryl is an early riser, she's up around 5:00 a.m., I'm lucky to be up by 7:00 to kiss the girls as the leave with Cheryl. With Cheryl gone, I have to get up, showered and dressed before the girls wake up. Not only is it difficult for me to wake up early, it's no picnic once I'm ready. I have to get the girls ready and feed them breakfast. Once I have Taylor ready and eating breakfast, she has usually spilled something so I have to change her again. Kacie tells me what Mommy usually does to her hair. I explain that straight hair is in, so we just comb it without having to tie it up. Taylor will have the same hair style. All of this is happening before 7:00 a.m.

There are times when I have joked about how close Cheryl and her sister Joy are. It seems that they have to check in with one another three or four times a day. Now that Cheryl is in California, I sure am glad Joy and Cheryl are close. As things would have it, the weekend Cheryl leaves, I have a funeral, a memorial service, a wedding and Ogden's Hanamatsuri service, with a guest speaker. Thursday night I can't pick the girls up at their daycare because of the funeral. Friday night I have the wedding. Saturday morning I have to meet the guest speaker at the airport and Sunday I have Hanamatsuri. Joy and my Dad are there to take up the slack. Joy has the girls bathed and in their pajamas Thursday and Friday night. Saturday I drop Kacie off at Joy's by 10:00. Sunday my Dad is at my house by 8:30 to watch the girls as I leave for Ogden. By the time I get home from Ogden late Sunday afternoon, Cheryl will be home and I can relax.

All of these things that I was worried about, Cheryl deals with on a daily basis. The true reality of my life includes all of the aforementioned schedule. The girls wake, eat, get dressed, brushed and combed, bathed and put to sleep daily. I have just put a blind eye to most of it. There is an invisible world that embraces me and carries me through the difficult times. Sadly it is often a world that goes by unseen to me. This is the world of Namo Amida Butsu. This is the world of Okagesama de. To respond to this invisible world is to express a profound sense of gratitude. Each of us lives among this invisible world. How can we express our gratitude for something we are usually unaware of? I feel that it is all encompassed in Namo Amida Butsu.

My home life and even my work at the temple are encompassed within a world that I seem to be oblivious to. I take it for granted that much of the menial work at the temple will be taken care of by my father. He retrieves the mail, empties trash cans and takes them out for the garbage man, etc. Tomio Mitsunaga and his crew work on the yard and repair our temple. The Fujinkai, Paul Terashima, Dharma School teachers, etc. all work diligently within this world that I do not see because of my own bonno. As the minister of the temple, I should be more aware. All I can say is Namo Amida Butsu.

Of all the Japanese phrases, one of the most beautiful is "Okagesama de." It encompasses and acknowledges this invisible. "Okagesama de." Literally means, because of the shadow or as a result of the shadow. When someone asks you, "How are you." The reply is, "Okagesama de, I am fine." This shadow is the invisible world that embraces us and supports us. It is because of the hundreds and thousands of actions that allow us to exist, but we are too busy to see and acknowledge. This world of Okagesama de, is the world of Namo Amida Butsu. For those of you like me, all we can say is, "Namo Amida Butsu."

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